Millennial Dating Difficulties

Dating is hard. That’s it, that’s the entire article.


And to be clear for the sake of this article dating is defined as two individuals getting to know each other with the aim of pursuing a romantic involvement. I know there's this thing where people define dating and “talking” as two different things but for the sake of this article the two are basically interchangeable.

No, but seriously. Millennials and Gen Z babies can pretty much agree that trying to find a partner is as hard as trying to get Rihanna to drop her next album. Sometimes I wonder, is it really our generation? Or has trying to find love been this difficult since the dawn of time? I’m not sure but I’m just going to take a wild guess and say it’s us. From my understanding, decades ago, when a guy was romantically interested in a girl they would get their number, ask them to go to dinner, say pick you up at seven, and they would live happy-ever-after. Nowadays, when romantically interested in someone, you slide in their DM, ask for their number, you guys text for a week or so, maybe plan to “link”, and things are cool until one person goes a day without texting the other or finds another way to defy the other one’s trust, and you never talk again. Things are just complicated now. 

The process can obviously get more tricky than that but the main thing is things just don’t seem to last long. Even if you’re not trying to find your future hubby/wifey but just find someone to kick back with it can still be hard. In my opinion, there are a few key things that make dating for us more difficult than it should be. One of those things is lack of communication. I feel like this is the number one thing that messes people up. One thing that should be discussed early on is what the both of you are looking for. Looking for a relationship? Not looking for anything serious? Just looking for sex? Say it, it will save both of you guys time and make sure you’re on the same page. Also, express how you feel. People have a bad habit of not actually confronting their potential partner when they do something they don’t like. They rather just “fall back” by giving them one word responses or maybe taking longer to reply than usual. Which will probably just make the situation worse. Or they might just drop you altogether, being that ghosting is a popular thing to do now. 

Another thing that makes dating hard is people’s sense of entitlement. Yeah this is gonna be a hard one for some of yall. We tend to feel that people owe us more than what they actually do. This can cause some to feel like they can control whomever their dating, at least to an extent. This could be as simple as demanding them to text back or that they do this thing that you seen a couple on twitter do. I'm not saying this as an excuse for them to treat you like they don’t give a f*ck or to waste your time. I'm just saying that sometimes you have to let them be them. They have their own things going on, and you can’t always expect to come first.  Don’t get me wrong you should have standards. You should also spend a decent amount of time talking or spending time together when dating. Just be realistic, don’t ask for more than what you’re giving. Also know you just don’t have to be in contact ALL the time. Wanting attention from somebody 24/7 isn’t healthy and could even be a sign of codependency. They are their own independent being just like you, so relax. 

Another hard pill to swallow is the fact that if you guys haven’t established a title, both of you are still single. So, that means you both are free to see other people, period. Now if you guys are really feeling each other and want date exclusively without a title that’s cool too, but you need to discuss that with each other and make sure that both of you are on the same page. Nevertheless, if yall never came to that consensus, you can’t be mad if they are exploring their options. They are not yours.

One of the toughest things that comes into play with dating is trust. Now this one really doesn’t hit until you guys are starting to get a little serious. You both might have decided to test the waters of being exclusive and maybe even considered pursuing a relationship. However, messed up trust can kill a good thing before it's born. A lot of people in this generation claim to have trust issues. This could be due to being hurt in past relationships and situations or some other past trauma. Unfortunately, we tend to bring this hurt and mistrust from our past to our present situations which inevitably sabotages a potential positive relationship.

There are, of course, rare instances where people are having a blast dating; having a good time with multiple people or living their best life exclusively with their bae. However, for those of us who are SINGLE AF, the dating scene can be frustrating at times. Sometimes so frustrating, you just want to opt out on dating altogether for a while. And that’s completely fine. Sometimes it’s best to just keep to yourself, enjoy family, friends and life, and just work on being the best you. After all, you are what you attract right? Nevertheless, if you still want to see what’s out there, by all means do it. Just don’t take things too seriously and put yourself first in all situations