Be the Victor not the Victim

For the majority of my life, I have been sad. Over the years it has been for different reasons whether it's from my social anxiety, money problems, or just fear of the future. There of course have been times where I have overcome my sadness and find a way to find joy in the situation. However, my biggest flaw is being sucked into the cycle of sadness again. Nevertheless, this continuous cycle stopped recently. That is because I found a different way to deal with my problems. From having a heart to heart with some of my loved ones I realized that I was putting the blame on everyone else when it was my responsibility. I was constantly making myself the victim.

It can be easy to put the blame on others when things don’t go your way. Blame your ex-lovers for your broken heart, blame your parents for genetic flaws, blame your crappy job for taking away your time with not having enough money to show for it. You could even blame God (if that’s what you believe) for just plain bad luck. However, I have learned that whatever the case is, whatever situation you are given to deal with, it is your responsibility for making the best of it.

Before I lose your attention, hear me out. I know there are some people that have natural advantages that make it easier for them to attain certain goals. While for others, given their natural disadvantages it might seem nearly impossible to attain their goals. Nonetheless, it is not impossible for those less advantaged people to meet their goals. It just can be really f*cking hard. But totally possible! Besides that when people who were at their lowest rise up and surpass even their own expectations it can feel even more rewarding. It can make one feel invincible!

For example, Kylie Jenner has recently made headlines for being close to being the world’s youngest billionaire with a net worth of $900 million. However, she has had many advantages such as being born into a wealthy family to attain this success. On the other hand, Oprah Winfrey became one of the richest self-made women living having a net worth of $3 billion. The gag is she came from nothing. Oprah Winfrey spent her childhood years with her mother and grandmother facing poverty, and even physical and sexual abuse. However, she did not become a victim of her struggles. She instead spent her adolescent years trying to make the best for herself by moving with her dad and excelling in school. This led to her finding her passion in media and eventually becoming one of the richest and also most inspiring African-American women to date. 

Regardless of what struggle you are going through, whether it be financial, social, physical, or mental… you hold some power in the situation. I know some could be thinking, “You don’t understand” or “I tried and failed” or “It’s not my fault”. Maybe you are right. But that doesn’t change the fact that there is a way out. It’s just up to you to find that way. So stop the pity parties and start your plan of action.

We can’t control everything. We can’t control the family we are born in. We can’t always control how other people treat us. However, we can control how we respond to it. That response determines our fate. It might not seem fair, and maybe it isn’t. Nevertheless, we hold the responsibility for our own success despite any adversity we face. Becoming the victim of your situation is only going to keep you stagnant and maybe even searching for answers that you will never get. Becoming the victor of your situation will allow you to break free and surpass all the barriers your situation built for you.